Get To know Joshua Paul Shepard?

My name is Joshua Paul Shepard. Adopted and once named Jason Andrew Hamill to begin with...(so I think). Life is always a puzzle to me. Especially here in the Valley of Answers. Spirits are the only ones who give me definative answers, if you can believe that without immediately calling me crazy? But they told me who my bio-parents are. I love the spirit of the big guy...Alan B. Shepard. I have kind of a complex over good and evil. Being a former Jew and believing in heaven and hell...then I came to California and was surrounded by Jesus people. Homeless and desperate. Cast out by Jews who figured it was the end of the trophy line gravy train. God always seems to put me in the hardest predicaments for people to learn from me? I guess I make it hard for myself at the same time? Life on earth turning into a conflict between heaven and hell? Dial Dreamscapz or something...fiction meets reality on my battlefield. Comprehension is to be around me and succomb to your own disbelief. You are not evil if you have an open mind towards the suppressed supernatural inherent in not only me, but people with aristocratic bloodlines. You have to figure that their survival instinct was won through being god's chosen in battle and tactics. Such is my demeanor!