Pick Asidz: Destructobots and Androids

Trax: My girlfriend is an android and I love her. You see I was in love with this B movie actress named Rebecca Swanson, and she up and killed herself in a car crash. I was devistated...although she never returned my emails. Well anyway the Gridlockx guys felt bad for me and had her cloned and turned into an android. None of that human complexity of expression bullshit attached to dating women who cheat and master manipulate. The on/off switch is a recharge of early dismissal, and none of that recoil from the panic pains of life. They are such optomistic things, machines that is, at least newly crafted and created ones. Loca is a synthbot and absorbs personalitys from people she come in contact with. She is different from Brikx, as Brikx is a purely nymphbot, made to be a sexual contruct. Loca is a people person and really sociable. The "Duets" like to keep Loca away from riff raff so she stays pure of her synthetic heart. We are picky and choosy about who she hangs with. They wanted to clone my personality in a female and she mirrors some of my optomism, which in turn helps the misanthropes like Blank. An android is not aware of anything but all aspects of you. The weather could be hot, cold, damp or frozen and they would not care. When I get sick I don't have to worry about her catching it. If you have STD's or something, or have been ostrocized due to looks or other inadequacies, an android wouldn't care. She does seem to care about what I look like though, she is really vain herself. Just what I needed was for Brianchild to program me a narcisist bot. His intention was to intercept Hollywood's incessant pretentiousness by replacing a deceased actress with his own innovation. Smart kid that little whipper snapper...

Pick Asidz: Trouble at Home

Charisma: Replace me with an android? Oh you crazy bastard...I'm a gonna cut you!

(running around the kitchen with a butcher knife)

Flipsidz: If you cut me would I bleed psychically? Or would you send out a distress call to an ambulance telepathically?

Charisma: I'm not the telepath...you want one of those then go be gay with Trax!

Flipsidz: I've been hearing about this porn producer named "Catapult" lately. They say he is telekinectic? Could you read him for me?

Charisma: Yeah I heard he went to the porn store and assualted people with flying dildos.

Flipsidz: Gotta love a psychic comedian...

Charisma: What about that guy "Cannibal"? What has he been cooking up lately?

Flipsidz: Well Trax asked him if he could clone his dog "Lazarus" and give him wings to spite Mr. Blank! He keeps casting Voddoo spells on that poor mutt.

Charisma: That is evil...Blank is some kind of cancor sore in the mouth of the Lightbringers.

Flipsidz: Yeah but it's kind of funny...attacking a wolf persons dog. He figures the bond between them is too strong.

Charisma: What kind of dog is it?

Flipsidz: It used to be a golden retriever, but now it breathes fire and has flaming horns or sumthing. Trax gets that crazy cabbie guy Lazlo to take care of it. He says that middle easterns are used to flaming mutts from hell.

Charisma: Yeah just like our current president!

Pick Asidz: Sucking on a lemon so they say...

Catapult: Do this next scene and I'll give you a cookie!

Brikx: I'd rather you give me a banana...

Catapult: Is that the "fruit of the loon"?

Selene: Better that than frozen spooj on a stick!

Catapult: If I give you a banana, will you do a scene with "King Dong"?

Brikx: I'd rather tickle "Godzilla" for radioactive penis posture's posterity!

Selene: What about a fight scene between the "Jolly Green Giant" and Super Penis?

Brikx: I hear the giant isn't so jolly when his pants are down.

Selene: Why does god put small penises on the really good looking and really big guys?

Catapult: Because nobody is perfect and this business is bereft of an ogre's orphanage, to put it bluntly.

Selene: How come you wear that silly beret and have that soul patch with a cigarette holder in hand?

Catapult: How come the sun shines on silly people? It's my style...like noir of pornology. Get it scat cat?

Pick Asidz: Whale Tale

Sicco: You know how you and Loca are always scatterbrained about the differences between cats and dogs? Well I'm a whale person, baby! Give me a snorkle and hear me buluga...

Trax: What kind of whale would you be and relate to?

Sicco: The one with all the barnacles baby! Call me a humphack or sumthing!

Trax: You are more like an Orca Porka.

Sicco: I dare you to change Loca's programming to Wolf person.

Trax: That would be no fun. She remembers most of her past from before she died. Cannibal says it's part of her rejuvination of being a clone android.

Sicco: If you guys do that to me, make sure you give me liposuction.

Trax: I don't think you have to worry about that...

Pick Asidz: The Naked Truth

Selene: I'm a little claustrophobic...shooting a porn scene in a closet was somebody brilliant's idea!

Brikx: Well at least you have access to a change of wardrobe if need be.

Armitage: You sill little slut twits, when are you going to learn that working for Slikx over Blank is like the Macy's Day Parade of porn?

Selene: "The Adulterer" is pretty heavy duty!

Brikx: But Blank is underground, you can't compare him to Slikx.

Armitage: So underground he smelt like a sewer. Teenage Mutant Ninja Blankman.

Selene: Poor pity pot your drawing a line through my dot. Since when did we all line up for breadcrumbs?

Armitage: Pass the saltines baby...I'd rather be eating fish and chips, but I bet I could bite a piece of chocolate when I think of Blank. Did you hear he jumped in with the mechanical "Jaws" shark at Universal? Next he wants to do Sea World!

Brikx: Pass the poorage Golditricks!

Selene: Or at least spike the punch.

Armitage: Nothing is cooler than a twelve inch ruler, pursuant panty hose and a bullwhip!

Brikx: How about edible underwear at a Gynocologist's office?

Selene: How bout a snowflake in the desert? How about a Camel in the North Pole?

Armitage: I think I'll skip the interlude and bleach my pubes...

Pick Asidz: In check

Playing chess...

Crux: You know I hate conformity...the status quo are all smoes!

Trax: I wish I could be normal and conform. But that wasn't the hand I was dealt.

Crux: I hate playing with you...you promised not to read my mind?

Trax: I promised, but I'm paying more attention to finding my own queen.

Crux: Mrs. Right is really uptight!

Trax: And the commonplace has a steady pace...

Crux: What is going on with you and Loca?

Trax: Well I met this Luna chick at Quantico and now my heart pitter splatters.

Crux: Did they say that you qualify for their psychic program?

Trax: They told me that they'd get back to me...

Crux: What do you get when you cross a dingo with a fruit tree?

Trax: What?

Crux: A dingoberry...! Blank is going to watch great whites in a shark cage and he wants you to come along with him to read their minds.

Trax: He probably wants to mate with one...and he wants to know if they are scared of him.

Crux: Yeah right, scared if he grew gills is more like it!

Trax: Check!

Crux: My King has to go to the bathroom...

Trax: And I'll bet he expects me to wipe his ass!

Antenna Song

A knight in shining armor
A bucket for a pale
One night in the brig
I figured out I didn't like jail.
I woke up this morning
With this tatoo across my face
My eyes were stinging endlessly
Cause last night I got maced.
But if you say:
Oh, oh what you doing everybody?
Oh, oh what you doing for love?
And you say:
Oh, oh what you doing everybody?
Oh, oh what you doing for love?
Well your feelers are antenna
Groping what they can
Hiding under bleachers
And questioning the man.
Antenna to listen
To your given mood
An internal radio
With it's own given groove.
Hard to be insistent
When you seek to please
Reaching for the stars
On my hands and knees.
And then you say:
Oh, oh how you feeling everybody?
Oh, oh an antenna for love.
Oh, oh baby you'll eventually find somebody.
Oh, oh somebody to love...
Oh, oh there is always somebody.
When push comes to shove.
Well time flies so quickly
I remember it as a boy
Just bubblegum and leggos
And I was overjoyed
Seeing this evaporate
Into a world alone
Being lonely is just a thing
I can't condone.
Here it is coming on so slow
Doctor give me a prognosis
Of exactly where to go?
And the whole world says:
Oh, oh maybe you're somebody
Oh, oh amazing how you feel love
Oh, oh what you doing Mr. Nobody?
Oh, oh what you doing for love?
And again the whole world says:
Oh, oh maybe you're somebody
Oh, oh amazing how you feel love?
Oh, oh what you doing Mr. Nobody?
Oh, oh what you doing for love?
I sat across from opportunity
It's carcass like a whale
It's teeth shining like Dracula
Waiting to impale
Tell that modern Sampson
Not to cut off that hair
Maybe you'll meet Hercules
Someday if you dare.
Tell me now sunshine?
Tell me my cookie girl
Do you like the nutty ones?
Or do you see the whole world in swirls?
Bloated as objectivity
Hoping to set sail
Don't fight with those feelings
With tooth and nail.
Look me up a reference
Inquiring why
Baby you can count on me
Until the day I die.
And he says:
Oh, oh what you doing everybody?
Put on that antenna for love
Oh, oh what you doing Mr. Nobody?
What you doing for love?
Oh, oh hurry up somebody
Oh, oh I'd give anything...
Anything for love.
Yeah...